Change of focus.

We all tend to focus on the differences that lie between us. We notice if someone dresses differently, has an accent, holds his fork differently than we do, or. . . you get the drift. They look so different from us that they must be different in every other way too. We may even go so far as to feel threatened because of those differences. Think how attitude altering it might be if we focused on the sameness instead.

I was sitting in a Perkins waiting for my waffle and strawberries with my husband, his sister and her husband, their daughter (our niece) and one squirming 4 year old granddaughter. We were talking work, politics, shopping, and weather. We were trying to keep the 4 year old entertained with pen and placemat. Our relaxed conversation was one of family joviality and a holiday outing.

About that time I watched a family group come in. All of them were dressed in clothing that was either black or blue. The men all had long, well kempt beards and flat brimmed hats. The women all wore ankle length skirts and small, crisp, white skullcaps over their bound hair. The little girl pulled slightly against the woman's hand. Many of the people in the restaurant watched as they came to sit near to us and continued to keep 'one eye on them' the entire time they ate.

They all ordered and sat back to wait for their food to come before I started to really catch the mirror images. The older lady sat smiling and watching her husband, his probable sister and her husband, their daughter (their niece) and one squirming 4 year old granddaughter. I could hear as they talked work, politics, shopping, and weather. They were trying to keep the 4 year old entertained with pen and placemat. Their relaxed conversation was one of family joviality and a holiday outing.

I realized with some degree of embarrassment that I had been watching them as well. My action sprang from curiosity and ignorance but translated as rudeness just the same. I was reminded that we are all basically the same. True, one may wear an Aeropostale hoodie and another may wear a blue pinafore or a Burka or a Sari --but we are more similar than we like to admit.

Instead of focusing on the differences that lie between us; instead of assuming that because they look different from us that they must be different in every other way too; instead of feeling threatened because of those differences -- Think how attitude altering it might be if we focused on the sameness instead.